When you desire and long for, and finally meet, and it’s just the two of you. When the clothes come off and the snogging is turned into steamy sex. When you´ve reached the silent agreement to shag yourselves senseless.
Then suddenly it doesn’t feel right anymore.
Someone pokes a finger in the wrong hole. Makes it hurt. Wants you to talk dirty although it makes you feel uncomfortable. Someone sulks over having to use a condom.
When the magic is broken.
Then there are many of us who are afraid to talk about it. Who don’t say no. Who feels guilty, reminding ourselves that we actually went along with it from the start and now it is too late to pull out.
Or you say “no”, but the “no” isn’t taken seriously. So you bite your lip. Perhaps you try faking an orgasm to get it over with. Perhaps you forget about it the day after, perhaps you feel filthy, humiliated and full of guilt, since it was your own responsibility to express what you agreed upon.
We do it now. Talk. On Twitter. And in the blog. And in many other places on internet. There is no obligation to express yourself in public. But you are more than welcome to do so. Spread the word. Most important is that you dare to when you are there, in an awkward situation. That you choose the short-term discomfort in order to avoid the long-term feeling of having been abused.
The shame of not drawing a clear line, eating away at you.